


White Rooms With Red Floors

by ReaverBeaver (ScissorLines)



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brief mention of Reavers, Gen, Role Reversal, Simon went to the academy instead of River, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, and typical Reaver behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 23:32:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13669587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScissorLines/pseuds/ReaverBeaver
Summary: Simon remembers the exact moment he realised the Academy wasn't an academy.He wishes he didn't.Staying sane is difficult, in Simon's current environment.





	White Rooms With Red Floors

Simon remembers the exact moment he realised the Academy wasn't an academy.  
He wishes he didn't.

He wishes he had a little longer in ignorance, a little longer to believe that maybe he was really going to face something that might actually pose a challenge.

Well, that's not entirely inaccurate, this place certainly does pose a challenge, just not the type Simon had hoped for.

He sits against the wall, the one furthest away from the thing a few rooms over. He doesn't even know why it's here, but its mind is loud and rough and blood and hunger and rape and murder and-

He takes a deep breath to steady himself. Tries to focus on something else, one certain nurse (Jake? Jack? Jackie?). Their mind is still as twisted as everyone else's here, but they have a sense of guilt from Simon looking a bit like their son. It isn't much, but it allows Simon a smeared window with a glimpse of sanity. Something to keep him grounded. Something to give him the strength to refuse a kill order. 

He aches all over, from his fingertips to very core. He wants to cry, or vomit, or both.

The thing breaks loose from its restraints and splits open a doctor's chest, pulls out her heart, and devours it while fucking her corpse.

He wonders if he should be concerned that it actually makes him feel a little better.

–

They force him to sleep, to dream. There's a garden, and a kind teacher explaining all the great things the alliance has done, and it's safe, and it's horrible.

He knows they're doing things to him, to his brain, while he sleeps, while he dreams. His thoughts are quickly becoming disorganised. They repeat phrases until. Until.  
He can't think.

Is he dreaming of killing someone or is he actually doing it?

The teaches sticks a pen in his head. 

He sticks a pen into the teacher's throat. 

No, not the teacher. Someone else. 

Is he dreaming?

It hurts when the teacher pulls out his guts and makes him label them. 

_(stomach, liver, gallbladder-)_

It doesn't hurt when he pulls out someone else's guts and labels them instead.

_(pancreas, appendix, large intestine-)_

Asleep?

Awake?

Asleep.

Awake.

Asleep  
Awake

asleep  
awake

**asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awahe asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awaee asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awale asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awape asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake asleep awake**

It hurts.

Does it?

No.

_PLEASE HELP ME_

He kills twenty men bare-handed. 

He must be asleep.

_RIVER PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU_

He stubs his toe.

He must be awake.

_RIVER HELP ME I NEED YOU_

Simon.

Simon?

Awake?

No.

Yes?

_HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME_

–

River is here.

Asleep?

Awake.

She clasps his face and there are tears in her eyes and she takes off his restraints.

_(split open her chest, pulled out her heart)_

Awake?

River's mind is so brilliant, so wonderful, only slightly twisted.  
It makes him sick, like eating too much chocolate.  
He remembers doing that, long ago.  
It was fun.

Asleep.

The escape is fun too.  
Like something they would have acted out together, long ago.

Long ago, when he was awake.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I'm really sorry.


End file.
